just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
