Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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