I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize