A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
