the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
