whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
