please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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