My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
