No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
