So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
