Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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