my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
