if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize