moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
