Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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