I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Randomize
