Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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