we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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