THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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