My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
