Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
