if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
My liver just had a heart attack.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
