wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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