how can u be prego again
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
