I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
and you fell through a lawn chair
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