I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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