i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
MIDGETS
????
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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