dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
My ass is underappreciated
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
