dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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