when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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