he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
No...this little piggys going to the bar
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
