He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
