I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
