It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
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