so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
