You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
