This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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