K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
