My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize