Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
