I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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