i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
