Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
