Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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