wakey wakey hands off snakey
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
