they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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