I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
