I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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