one word: firstdatebathroomanal
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
