i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
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