He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
