Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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