i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Randomize
