Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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