i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
