he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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