Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize