I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
