she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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