New invention idea: vibrating tampons
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
