I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize