So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
