i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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