I wannas sexs uuuuu
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
