There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
