i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
it's like iHOP with fire
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
