Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize