You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
