oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
