she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
