problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
